On Hiatus

I have had an easy love affair with blogging. My own personal need to write, my somewhat grandiose belief that I have something to say, my love of people and social interaction have made me love this blog and all I have gotten from it from day one. I have chronicled 2 1/2 years of a day in the life of this farm mom, and lets face it...the last few months I have been more than a little remiss. I have been considering quitting altogether for pretty much the entirety of 2009. Something has been stopping me all along. Perhaps it's because I still love the act of writing and sharing....but more to heart of the it is I love the people I have met here and the connections I have made.

Yet none of that changes the fact that this blog has gotten stagnant. How much more can I talk about the animals, the gardens, the children, the activity in the kitchen? The tutorials are tapped out and the familial anecdotes have gone stale.

I also know myself well enough to know that the health issues I have been having for the last few months have taken their toll and changed me in ways I am still trying to deal with. I cannot help but wonder if much of what is happening here with the blog is a result of those changes and not reflective of the blog at all.

So, I am stepping away for now. Giving myself a bit more time to come to grips with what just may be my last ditch attempts at holding on to this thing. (I'm sentimental at heart, and letting go is never easy for me.) Perhaps I'll come back in a while, refreshed and renewed and back to my old self. Maybe I'll take this in a different direction entirely. Or, I might just come back for a final goodbye. As always, I'll let you know when I do.

Perspectives on Longevity

Last night Eric and I had a few hours alone as we went to a nearby u-pick farm and picked ourselves 30 lbs of blueberries. We fell into easy conversation, which soon turned to the fact that today is our 14th Wedding Anniversary. After singing this song to each other over the blueberry bushes and laughing wildly, we settled down to business, you know....sort of marriage in review. How are we doing? Hasn't it gone by fast? Still happy? Would you change anything? All that jazz. Then Eric asked me why is it that I think we've managed to make it for so long as a couple. I start waxing philosophical about our shared interests, concerns, hobbies and loves. I go on and on about our mutual love and respect and about him as a man and partner. I really wish I had written some of it down....sigh...it was beautiful. I then turn to him and ask him the same question. He scoops me in his arms, looks deep into my eyes and states: "It's the panties."

There you have it folks. The secret to longevity in a committed relationship. Don't say I never gave you sound and important advice on here.

Happy Anniversary, my love. Thanks for the love, support, comfort and the ever important laughs that have made these the best possible 14 years. Looking forward to the next 14! :)

An Update

Life has been a bit crazy lately, and I apologize for my lack of posts. I'm still without my camera and it really has an effect here. I never realized how many of my posts are a direct result of my photography, and not the other way around. I miss carrying that thing around, let me tell you! I wish I could share with you diversity, color and loveliness of the flowerbeds, or the green lushness of the gardens at this time of the year. The bowls full of berries waiting to be turned into jars of homemade goodness. The finished products, all lined up and aglow in the sunlight. The garlic harvest, the first sunflower, the sheer amount of diversity and life in the dill patch....all things I would love to show you. Instead all I can give you are my words, and they fall short, dear friends.

Our weather has been unseasonably cool and rainy. The garden hasn't really seemed to mind. I'm a little concerned I'll never get peppers this year, and a huge harvest of green tomatoes...but everything else has gotten huge and lush under the grey skies. The Strawberry Popcorn and heirloom dry shelling beans, new to us this year, are doing well. I planted them together, so the beans could climb the corn stalks, and it's working well so far......but these popcorn are not a large plant and I'm starting to wonder if I did right by the beans in planting this way. Only time will tell I suppose. Our squash and pumpkins are doing well....what there is of them. The germination failure and dampening off problem means a drastically smaller crop this year and left us with a lot of empty, open space in our back forty. So Eric planted buckwheat and it is doing so well and is really a lovely little plant so far. Eric seems excited about what to do with the harvest, and there has been talk of trying to make our own flour with it. That should be interesting and I will definitely share with you more on that later.

We made the tough decision awhile back to cull more of our chicken flock. It's always harder when you've had the birds for awhile.....I love my hens. We culled the roo too, he was just too mean, and we just decided we were not really interested in propagating his genes. So, we're down to 8 happy hens for now and we will be getting new chicks in the spring. We're considering Blue Laced Wyandottes and Cuckoo Marans (at the link, scroll down for pics). We also haven't quite made a decision as to whether we will be keeping or culling the turkeys and ducks this season, and starting fresh next year. I have to admit.....we're all particularly fond of our turkeys. I cannot imagine life without my buddy Jake. So he may have a life pass! ;)

But the butchering process went well and the kids are always so interested. It was amazing how much they learned about anatomy and how the eggs are formed. (Again, wishing I had a camera to show you the eggs in different stages). The farm lessons, of course apply too. My children have a deep understanding of food that I really, really appreciate and marvel at. You would think that watching the process would be scary or that they would feel repulsed and refuse chicken dinner or something, but it really is quite the opposite. They display a reverence, understanding and gratefulness I wish everyone felt when sitting down to dinner, quite frankly. Some days I wonder, as all parents do, if I am doing right by them. But in those moments....I feel very, very good about what we do here.

I'll leave you with some pics of Aden and Ethan with their new cousin Owen (Thanks Andrea for sharing them). They love him like crazy!!

Berry Days

I'm still going through serious camera withdraw here. There's so much lovely goodness out there in need of a photo too! Lately, our lives have been all about cherries, raspberries (wild and domestic) and mulberries. Add to that the last of the spring lettuces, carrot and leek thinnings (have I mentioned how much I LOVE growing leeks?) and an upcoming garlic harvest and everyday is a harvest day of some sort around here. And harvest days inevitably lead to kitchen days....as all this stuff needs to be washed, chopped, prepared, frozen, dried, jammed, canned or just plain enjoyed.

Now, I've got to admit, I like my berries au naturale. Grab a handful and go. Be we do our fair share of preserving, eating on ice cream, and baking here during berry season. I also like to freeze as much as I can for later. I find I can still make awesome pies and various other desserts in the fall/winter with the frozen berries. Here's one of my favorite recipes utilizing frozen berries, because the berries do not need to be thawed first:

BERRY CRISP

Berry mixture:

• 12 cups frozen berries (blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, raspberries, mulberries and any mix thereof. We really enjoy a domestic rasp, wild rasp, mulberry mix.)
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/2 cup flour
• 2 Tbs lemon juice

Topping:

• 3/4 cups old fashioned oats
• 3/4 cups flour
• 2/3 cup (packed) brown sugar
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp ginger
• 1/4 tsp nutmeg
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 7 Tbs chilled butter, diced

Preheat oven 375. Combine berries, sugar, flour and lemon juice in a large bowl; toss to blend well. Transfer berry mixture to a greased 13x9 pan.

Combine 3/4 cup flour, oats, brown sugar, spices and salt in a medium bowl. Add butter; rub in with fingertips until topping holds together in small moist clumps. Sprinkle over berry mixture.

Bake crisp until berry mixture bubbles thickly and topping is golden brown, about an hour. Let stand 15 mins. Serve warm or at room temp.

This is actually pretty great at any temp, and is heavenly served with some homemade ice cream! This topping is also a great all purpose topping, I've used it on all manner of crisps; from cherry to pear, peach and the classic apple. It also keeps nicely in the refrigerator on it's own, until you're ready to use.

So, if you're buried in berries like we are right now, consider freezing some for future goodies. You won't be disappointed!

More Challenging Than You'd Think

My camera's broke. It survived Ethan squirting me with a hose while it was in my pocket...but it didn't survive Aden dropping it the other day. I am camera-less! I feel all exposed...I HATE it! To add insult to injury, we went fishing with my parents a couple of days ago and I caught a prize winning rock bass.....but no camera, means no pics. So my fish story is just...well, a fishy story.

So when I saw Ceecee's Day 167 Challenge today, I jumped at it. How cool is that? I can blog about an old photo. But guess what that photo happened to be? Me. Drat!! Suddenly, what I thought would be fun and easy turned into an all day "should I or shouldn't I?"

Here it is, #167.

Now, some of you may recognize this pic, I've blogged it before, here. I hated doing it then, and I'm not too fond of having to re-post it now. But it does give me a good lead in to a subject I've been taking some flack about recently from certain quarters. The new do, and the fact that there's no face shot of me on the blog with the new do. So, I've sucked it up, and decided to post one. Just one...don't ask for more because you're not getting it. Probably ever, ever again! lol

There. Whew! Now go visit Ceecee's blog and play along! May it be less painful for you than it was for me! ;)

What is love?

The other night Aden was giving daddy a lecture on love. It never ceases to amaze me the vast amount of knowledge she soaks up in daily life or how sometimes she just sounds wise beyond her years. Sometimes, when she's on a roll on a particular subject, you know, really feeling her groove...it is easy to image a ring of bald, robed people sitting cross legged around her soaking up her infinite wisdom.

On this particular night she felt the need to expound on the qualities of love. Apparently daddy just wasn't getting it. So he asked her "But Aden, how do you know when it's love?" And she answered matter of factly:

Love smells like a red flower

Love tastes like pie

Love lights up darkness


So, dear readers, I hope you find a way to bask in today's light. May you stop and smell a red flower, and taste the sweetness of a good slice of pie. :)

Honestly?

I first received this award back in Jan., and rarely do I do these these things twice. But, I've been nominated for it three more times in the last couple of weeks so I decided to give it another go. Thank you Ceecee, Stone Bridge Farm, and Michelle for thinking of me! :)

So, here are 10 honest things about myself:

1. I am a music junkie, I listen daily. I like all kinds and love to be introduced to new sounds and styles. I do hate country though.....feels a bit like confession...."Hi, my name is Angie, and I'm a country girl who hates country music...please forgive me." But, if you send it to me, I will listen......or try to anyway, I make no promises.

2. I have very strong views on politics and religion, but I will never share them here.

3. Very rarely do I take anything too seriously....especially myself.

4. There isn't much that a person can do to offend me....or surprise me for that matter. Although people have been known to disappoint me....but I rarely hold a grudge!

5. I'm a casual dresser at best....some days I don't get "dressed" at all.....pjs rock! :)

6. I've got two hairstyles in my repertoire, down or in a ponytail. Luckily, I can make my hair wavy, curly or straight without much work, or I'd be pretty boring indeed!

7. I can be shockingly blunt, always have been. Although my poor, easily embarrassed mother says I'm getting worse with age. I fully expect to be like Maxine from the shoebox greeting cards in due course. Hey, we all need goals.

8. I'm a serious anglophile. I have a particular passion for classic English writers and literature, but there is much about the British culture, past and present, that I find intriguing. I also have a particular weakness for English actors...everything sounds sexier with that accent, what can I say? ;)

9. I find myself rather boring. Whenever anyone shows too much interest (which is any interest, really) my first reaction is "Why?!" Did I mention I can be overly suspicious?

10. I don't like pushy people. I like to march to my own drummer and take things at my own pace. Get pushy and impatient with me and you get nowhere fast. I'll either clam up or shut you down. Interestingly enough, my daughter has the very same characteristic....must be my penance because boy is THAT annoying!! ;)

Since I already passed this on back in Jan., I won't do it again now. But if you're interested, please feel free to play along, I always love learning more about my fellow bloggers.

A Simple Observation

Last night was a typical night spent in the garden. I was harvesting cherries and raspberries, and doing the odd bit of weeding. Eric was mulching the potato and tomato beds. The kids ran around among the beds playing good guy/bad guy, and randomly inspecting plant life and the critters they found there. I looked up from my work every once in awhile to watch them...berry stained faces gasping in awe as daddy pulled up a giant earth worm for them to study better. The breeze was cool and refreshing in the orangey pink fading light. The swallows swooped and dived around the yard and over our heads. I watched the ducks waddle by, single file, and smiled to myself...content. Later as we stood in our garden, eating raspberries by the handfuls, Eric observed "We may not be the richest people ever, but we sure do have it good." I couldn't agree more.

Ch-ch-changes

As I've mentioned before, this year's been a strange one. But there comes a point where a person has to shake themselves off and get back to it. That's kind of where I've found myself these last couple of weeks. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself about being sick and I no longer even want to think about this spring in terms of it's failures. I'm moving on, baby! :)

Let's discuss the garden first. Bad germination and disease plagued the seedlings. Complications due to weather and my health meant for a rather late start outdoors, and general lack of upkeep. So, for this year we're just kind of counting our blessings......whatever we get out of the poor neglected beds we're going to be happy and grateful for. So, we're already discussing next year and the changes we'd like to put in place. We're always reading and watching documentaries around here, which strengthens our resolve and convictions about what we do and the choices that we make. We've got bold ideas about making the most of the land we have next year and how we'd like to increase our production for ourselves and possibly add grains into the mix. The more we can feed ourselves from our own little patch the happier we will be, and as always, I'll keep you in the loop.

Continuing on the theme of food production, we've got some serious decisions to make on the animal side of things as well. I have to admit, I really, really wanted to do things naturally around here when it came to brooding. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized nature did in fact take it's course around here this spring.....just not in the way I had hoped for. I would imagine hatch failures are just as prevalent as success in the natural world. So we're planning changes there as well. Right now we are considering either culling down the flocks and re-ordering in the spring, possibly with different breeds of chickens, including banties (for their broody qualities) ...or sticking with what we have and investing in a med-large incubator. We're also still considering goats and pigs as well. Adding these new elements to the farm would virtually end our need to go elsewhere for our animal product consumption. I have to admit, I've got my work cut out for me convincing Eric on the pigs, but I'm confident I'll get my way sooner or later....after all, as he likes to point out.... I always do! ;)

Of course, what has really had me down and out this year has been my health. Now, I've discussed this more these last couple of months than I ever have on here before and more than I generally feel comfortable with doing. But I'm going to talk about it just a bit more here today. I've been dealing with diagnosed hypothyroidism for years, but I can look back at my experiences/symptoms as a child and teen and my "borderline" status in those years accompanied by my strong family history and I would guess that I've had thyroid disease my entire life.

That very sentence with all it's ambiguity really does an excellent job of describing what it is like living with the disease. I happen to one of those people who's thyroid doesn't act in stable way and who doesn't respond to medication well. I also happen to be someone who's numbers can come back "within normal range" even while experiencing many of the most unpleasant symptoms prevalent with the disease. The truth is, the medical community still has a lot to learn about the disease and treatment, and the current one size fits most treatment approach leaves many people suffering on the fringe.

My doctors over the years have responded all in kind. If I'm gaining weight, I need to diet. If I lose weight rapidly and get dehydrated I need to eat and drink more. If I get ill I need to take the appropriate pill for relief. If I have joint pain or cannot sleep, there are drugs for that too. It is sometimes amazing to me the range of drugs a person can take for all these symptoms but there just isn't anything they can do to keep it from happening to me to begin with. So, I've decided I'm done with trudging through....I'm getting proactive. I have a friend who's introducing me to herbal concepts, I have been doing a lot of research online lately and I've bought a few books on the subject. Give me time people, and I'll be my own expert!! :) My hope is I can figure this out better for myself. Get some ideas on my own treatment, be it herbal, nutritional, traditional or as I suspect some sort of convergence of many treatments and ideas to get me to a better place.

Finally, there is one more change I wanted to talk to you about. An unexpected thing occurred with my hormone/thyroid changes this spring. My hair began changing color....from blonde to brunette. So, I decided to just go with, and last week dyed my hair to match the new roots.

Before:


After:

Change isn't always easy, but sometimes it's just plain FUN! :)

Sibling Love

I have to admit, I've never really gotten the whole sibling rivalry thing. I am nearly 8 years older than my brother and 10 years older than my sister. I kind of took on the role of keeper/guardian and let those two duke it out amongst themselves. And boy, did they ever! I would watch, in confounded awe as they would fight over EVERYTHING humanly possible... from the last cookie, to who got to sit where in the car or at the kitchen table, to who got to go first at whatever game we were playing. And it was like they enjoyed fighting. They revelled in it. One of their favorite things to do was chase each other around swatting each other in the arm....I swear it could go on for hours as neither of them could stand to be the last one hit. I never understood the compulsion to beat on each other or the competitiveness. (What can I say, I'm a lover not a fighter.) But don't let this fool you...the three of us were/are thick as thieves. Being country kids with working parents, we spent ALOT of time together....creating a unique and quite honestly comforting bond between us.

One of the aspects of our relationship that I find most enjoyable is our shared sense of humor. We spend much of our time together cracking jokes, delivering one liners and just generally goofing off. Get the three of us together and watch out. In fact some of my favorite memories are of the three of us joking around at dinner and getting my grandmother to laugh so hard she could barely breathe. I will forever see her in my mind's eye wheezing through her laughter, taking her glasses off and wiping away the tears....good stuff.

My brother with my grandmother.

Needless to say, my sibs are very special people to me, and no matter what life may throw our way I will always love, respect, and be oh so very proud of them. So, you can imagine my elation when last week my brother's son was born. Meet Owen, my first nephew on my side of the family.

Isn't he adorable?

My sister and Owen.

My brother with his first born son.

Perhaps the best part about getting to meet little Owen for the first time was getting to do so with my entire family. As we get older, and lead our own lives we don't all get to be together as often. I sat in the waiting room, watching my exhausted little bro try to keep his eyes open while we waited to see the baby for the first time. My sister and he soon started talking and singing a comedic song that probably had no right being sung in public....but it was fun watching them interact much the way they always have throughout the years.

Later, my sister and I were making shocking remarks about a particular piece of art in the hallway, much to my mother's dismay...as the halls filled with our irreverent laughter. My poor mother. She is often found standing next to us with her face in her hands, shaking her head. My dad, would be the one with the mischievous grin, trying to hold in his guffaws...torn between adding his own wit to the conversation or behaving himself for the sake of our embarrassed mother.

One of my favorite pics of the the contributor to our humor gene (dad) and my sibs, taken a few years ago. Congratulations Eric and Andrea. I am so very proud of and happy for you.

And welcome to the world, and the family little Owen. Don't worry...you'll get used to us! ;)